My thoughts on the Boston Marathon Bombing

As a parent, I’m deeply concerned about the fact that my children live in a world where something like the bombing in Boston is even possible. It makes me want to hide them in an underground bunker somewhere.

As an American, my thoughts and prayers are with the people of Boston first and foremost this morning. But also for my own friends and family, my children, and with the families of the several hundred people around the world (that we know of) who died by violence at the hands of organized groups of extremists yesterday.

As a human being, I find what happened to be inexplicable. There is simply no justification religious, political, or otherwise for doing something so evil. Moreover, when you stop to think that things like this happen all around the world every day, you could assume that we are failing as a civilization.

The first responders and rescuers, including those who found themselves in the blast itself and still turned to help their fellow victims are, as always, amazing, inspiring and sad. They’re amazing and inspiring for obvious reasons. They make me sad because we’re wasting their courage, nobility and compassion on responses to horrible events when it could instead be leading our species to new heights.

As for who did this, I find myself caring less and less by the minute. Whoever they are, foreign or domestic, they are extremists and they have declared themselves to be our enemies – and they’re right. Extremists, regardless of their championed cause or underlying beliefs, are the enemies of reasonable people everywhere and, as this sentence illustrates, they incite even more extremist views.

Our response can and should be extreme, but it should also be guided by reason. What that will look like remains to be seen. I don’t know.

I’m only certain about this: We have got to love each other better.

On the picture below – it’s graphic. It’s graphic because the scene was a horrible one and it’s my feeling that having a picture of a heroic looking first responder running to the scene, sanitized of blood and char inspires a certain sense of glory. Nothing about this horrible attack should be viewed as glorious. Similarly, a gory photo of a victim would just be contributing to the raw terror and anger events like this one cause (and it would be disrespectful of the victims’ privacy.)

By contrast, this scene is empty except for the aftermath and that’s how an attack like this one should make us feel.

I would love to give credit to the photographer, but I don’t know who that is. I found the picture on a Twitter stream under #bostonmarathon.

Dear “My Kids” – This is why you’re homeschooled.

I know in my heart that at some point each one of you will question our wisdom in deciding to homeschool, so I thought I’d offer you this explanation.

You should know by now that while your Mom and I complain about money a lot, it doesn’t really matter to us as long as we have the basic necessities.  What we’re far more concerned with is whether you are (and feel) safe and cared for and whether we are teaching (and/or allowing you to learn) the things you need.

First and foremost, we want to make sure that you’re being taught to think; not how to think or what to think – just to think.  We want you to weigh any situation using facts, logic, reason and even emotion and come to a decision or an opinion based on the principles you hold and the things you believe to be true; and to accept with a respectful but critical eye any information given to you that you didn’t earn on your own.  You’ll find later on in life that most of your peers lack this skill, while you’ve been taught from the beginning to crave knowledge – fact and opinion, theory and law, fantasy and reality and will have learned to distinguish among them.

You’re being taught to be independent and provide for yourself.  There is a reason you are asked to help with all steps in the garden.  There is a reason you are in charge of the compost.  There is a reason that we teach you how to use tools, make plans, and build things.  There is a reason you’ve all been taught to knit and are learning to sew. There is a reason we try to avoid toys that do the thinking for you and encourage you to create, draw, paint, read and explore your imaginations.  There is a reason you help in the kitchen and the garage and the laundry room and the yard.

It is our hope that you should never want for food, entertainment, knowledge, or other daily wants and needs.  You will join the world understanding why lights go on when you flip a switch and water comes out when you turn the tap; but also how to fix those things when they don’t work and how to function without them if necessary.  You’ll not only understand where the food at the store comes from but also how to provide it for yourself and prepare it for your family.  You’ll be better equipped to assess the quality of clothing you buy and make the repairs necessary to keep using those clothes past the point when others would have thrown them away.  You will have grown up using technology for learning, tools, and entertainment.  But you’ll also have a basic understanding of maintenance, programming and repair.  Moreover, as much as possible we’ll make sure you have the skills you need to work around the technology when it fails.

You will undoubtedly excel at a few of these areas and struggle with a few, but for most of them you will land somewhere in the middle and you will have all of your life to build on your knowledge, continue the struggle and develop your talents.  All kids have this same struggle and success in school – what will be different for you is the breadth of your education and the way you will earn it.  Where most kids will only have had a few subjects worth of exposure, you will have dozens – most backed by firsthand, self-earned knowledge gained under the guidance and supervision of a parent.  Public school just can’t provide that.  We hope too that you will never tire of building your knowledge and never settle for what you know.  Public school, when the students are lucky enough to encounter a great teacher, can provide this but more and more this seems to be the exception to the rule.

Even a half century ago most children in this country often received a broader education more like the one we hope to provide.  They didn’t necessarily get it all from school, but they did get it.  Now, at least in the suburbs and cities, an education this broad is a rarity.  It’s already unusual enough that there are some who will read this letter to you and label your Mother and me “crazy.”  Imagine that? Crazy for wanting you to be well-rounded, thoughtful, self-sufficient and independent adults and not trusting a public system to make you that way despite the fact that it has consistently failed to do so for decades and by all measures is getting worse.

The gift we are trying to impart to you is a large one and it’s one that we will never think we’ve done well enough.  There will be times that your abilities and needs will exceed our own knowledge and in those cases we’ll either learn more or make sure you get to work with someone who knows more than we do.

Of the options available to us, only homeschooling offered us the freedom and ability to offer you the type of education we think you should have and we were lucky enough (and worked hard enough) to be able to create an environment where we can homeschool successfully.  This is your education and we hope that it will be your ticket to success, however you define that term in your future.

Fundamental Principles of Civilization

There are certain moral issues on which we as a society must never compromise.

Principles so closely held and central to our culture and tradition that to undermine them, undermines us.

Lesser things may be viewed with some disagreement and there is room for flexibility. Which English Football team is second best (first is quite clearly Arsenal) and which other item of your wardrobe should match your shoes are examples of this less important group.

But there are absolutes. Issues which should only ever be viewed one way because there is only one correct way to view them.

I speak of the orientation of the toilet paper roll. Don’t pretend you don’t know the right way to do it. Only a savage does it the wrong way.

Unless we draw this line in the sand and guard it fiercely, society will collapse.

Handsome vs. Toothsome

Handsome is a weird word to me. It somehow evolved from meaning “easy to handle” in the 1400s to “good looking” today (as used to describe a man). When used to describe physical appearance, you’re basically saying you would like to touch him or handle him.

“Toothsome” is similar and the progression from “tasty” to “sexy” makes a lot more sense to me because we use a lot of ‘taste’ words to describe physical appearance, but we use toothsome a lot less often than handsome because it has a creepy connotation. It’s like calling someone a “tasty morsel” and carries a similarly lecherous tone.

Anyway, the point is that according to the English language connotation – wanting to grope someone is perfectly acceptable, but wanting to taste them is not.

#themoreyouknow

Dear Makers of Cup-o-Ramen

Dear makers of cup-o-ramen:

I imagine that like most companies, you are looking for ways to save money. I have a suggestion for you.

Those dehydrated vegetables you put in the cup? Leave them out. There is no one in the world who believes that 4 peas, 3 kernels of corn and a carrot flake make cup-o-ramen a healthy meal choice.

In my case, I’m a 36 year old man sitting in a hotel room watching That 70s Show, eating Ramen as a pre-dinner-dinner. Clearly, I’ve given up hope and I’m not looking for healthy.

There are, admittedly, people who eat the veggies instead of throwing them in the trash before they add water. But after a short period of grumbling, they’ll stop caring if you leave them out.

You see, ramen people aren’t really “do-ers”, we’re more “yell-at-the-TV-ers.” Honestly, you could probably just give us salt and sugar packets and we’d probably adapt to that too.

Just a thought for your next budget meeting. Oh, and the textured vegetable protein flakes in the beef flavored cups aren’t fooling us either. We know it’s not beef, we just don’t care.